Recently, I heard Gary Vaynerchuck (@garyvee) say something profound. He said, “Self-awareness is the game.” He’s right. The problem is that I wasted a lot of time realizing it! What is it about us as people that don’t like to admit our weaknesses? Are we afraid people won’t like us or accept us? Do we somehow just think that if we keep faking it we will someday, make it? Why do we feel like we must hide our true selves in the first place? That’s another posting to be sure, the point of this one is that we do it and we need to stop.
Lack of self-awareness is killing our relationships, our business, our careers and the organizations to which we belong. It’s so all pervasive it has reached into the hallowed halls of government.
It’s all about knowing who you are and it’s a major prerequisite for you to do what you want and need to do in life. Knowing who you are means knowing your strengths and knowing your weaknesses. It’s about knowing where your particular blind spots are. You know the ones that get you in trouble and often repeatedly?
You might be thinking, “Well, what about my weaknesses?” Most times, the older you get the less important they become. It’s true that there are some weakness that you can’t ignore and must improve upon. But those that aren’t an absolute necessity for you to get where you need to go? Just ignore those and play to your strengths.
Self-awareness is only one of five dimensions of emotional intelligence but it is the most telling and the most important. If you aren’t honest about who you are, it will be difficult to map out a plan to get where you need to go.
It’s like using a GPS. It determines your current location before it gives you several routing options to help you get to your destination. Life is like that too. Self-awareness is your GPS.
Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions, and drives as well as their effect on others. I would also add to it that self-awareness is knowing your weaknesses and your strengths, it’s knowing what motivates you and what demotivates you, it’s knowing your personality. It’s more than just your emotions, it’s knowing your whole self. Lack of it may be the missing link (along with self-regulation) may be the missing link when it comes to long-term change.
So how do you become more self-aware?
1. Ask – Ask someone close to you like a spouse or a good friend. Tell them it’s okay that you want the unvarnished truth about some things that may be blind spots in your life. You may get some strange looks. When they finally break and tell you, it’s real important that you NOT get defensive or angry. The fact that they care enough to tell you and you are taken by surprise is a sure sign that more self-awareness is a necessity. Welcome it, you’ll find a new sense of freedom.
2. Associate – Associate with others who are self-aware. How will you know? They will be the people that focus on their strengths and freely admit their weaknesses. They probably get angry but wouldn’t be called an “angry person.” When they fail? They don’t beat themselves up too long but they get back up and try another way. Remember that you become like the people that you’re around so choose wisely when it comes to your associations.
3. Assess – Take an assessment. I didn’t say a test. There are many types of assessments on the market that will identify your behavioral tendencies, your motivators and even your EQ (Emotional Quotient). Since you have read this far, I would like to offer you one of these assessments free of charge ($100.00 value). You can take that assessment here.
Beyond all of this, begin every day with a self-evaluation. How’d you do yesterday? What do you need to do differently today? Be painfully self-aware of your strengths and weaknesses, Remember, if you don’t know who you are then you won’t be able to get where you need to go.
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